I Wrote A Poem

And people read what it said, and they said I thought what they read, and as much as I agree that I think when I write you couldn't be more wrong if you think my writing depicts the images running in my mind, to put my heart and soul in my writing I must take my minds troubles out because silly emotions delay the message I want to convey in whatever it is I am writing. So the problems I write stem from observation deliberation and deep contemplation, however they are not the struggles of my own life

Getting serious

Along with going back to the basics, this time im getting serious I have rededicated my life to the lord Jesus  Christ and in doing so am debating the idea of mormonism, before anyone comments trying to persuade my otherwise the only debate is how, you see i am currently homeless and house hopping making it hard to take lessons and meet with missionaries.

So right no I'm focusing on living healthy. Riding my bike, prayer, reading the bible, speaking with god, eating  right, exercising and doing plenty of writing.

Right now its about getting back to the basics, thats right im blogging again not for the money this time, simply to write things I would want to read, so if we share interests read my blog if we don't then why are you on this page? ; )

Top Five Worse Things to Happen While on the Toilet

Number 5: This one is the most unoriginal, but the most classic dilema while going through ones bowle movements... running out of toilet paper. We have all ran into this situation. Your in such a rush to dump your doings that you forget to check if you have toilet paper. Then you do the awkward call for help... its such a vulnerable point in your life. If no one is home you have to do the waddle around ur house to search for more...

Number 4: Your comfortable on the great white bowl, when suddenly you here the garabage truck and realize you didn't put the can out. Now you rush the natural flow of nature to hurry outside and dump the other garabage.

Number 3: You sit ready for a long moment to yourself, when suddenly your phone rings. You answer and its Megan Fox and she wants you over to her house as soon as possible. You ask if she can wait a little while and to your demisae she says if your not there soon she will take back her offer... Now knowing that you will never make it, you ball your eyes out and consequently hate to answer the call of duty for the rest of your life....

Number 2: haha get it? Anyway, so imagine your on the can because you have some stomach issues and your flowing like the Niagra Falls... Then you feel you have to throw up... The first thought that runs through your head is to get up and turn around, but the constant flow from your backside prevents you from doing so. You are now stuck in a situation that will end in some very undesirable cleaning. YAY for 409!!

Number 1: So you park it on the crapper ready for a load, when suddenly you smell smoke... and then you hear the smoke detectors. While the heat is on in the John, it just got a whole lot hotter in your house. But how can you escape the raging fire in your house when you got business to take care of?? Maybe that should be included in the "family fire escape" plan....

Plug my ears

with your words,
tell me what is hot,
tell me who is sexy.
because I can no longer decide this shit for myself

Tell me what to buy,
tell me where to go,
you no better than I do.
I can no longer think for myself

Payperpost and other systems

 

Absolutely ruin the internet, instead of people with helpful hints and advice all you find is crap like this

http://weblogs.about.com/od/creatingablog/ht/CreateaVlog.htm

So please, if your going to write about something, please have an interest or knowledge basis on it, don’t give the actual steps in making a vlog… everyone knows how YouTube works, not many people know how to edit a vlog to look and sound good.

Top Ten Elderly Gag Gifts

A Skateboard! A far less obvious option, actually, this is probably only funny to a family as satirical as mine. Honestly the thought of old people skating paints a funny picture simply because of the improbability of that working out for them in any way. If you get a kick out of awkward moments and confused looks pick up a skateboard for your grandma or grandpas retirement party.

High Definition Sunglasses. the best part about these bad boys, the elderly actually appreciate them as gifts, so we get the real enjoyment of watching them walk around with those silly things on their face. I actually still have a hard time believing those aren't just the most elaborate gag gifts ever devised

A Leopard Print Bikini. While this has the chance of being hilarious it is strictly for conservative families, please don't give it to your grandma if there is a chance she will were it. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! Well nobody should, but i wont judge.

Sock’em Boppers. Everyone needs to release some pent up aggression, and there is no safer way than whacking each other with giant inflatable fists. You wont have too worry about your grandparents getting hurt either because chance is these will end up being foot rests

Karate lessons. As they get old and feeble the elderly need to learn efficient self defense methods. Honestly a can of mace will be more effective but a far less amusing expression will cross their face.

Diapers. Well unless they actually wear diapers, because that's not funny its just thoughtful, and that's not why you are reading this list.

Personalized Golf Ball, Pill Bottle. These are perfect for any elderly golfer, funny but still not too offensive. Great for any family, or any occasion. I can think of three members of my family who will be receiving this gift in the near future.

Goofy Teeth. False teeth getting boring, every once and a while its good to spice up life with some Billy Bob teeth.

A Gift Card to An Adult store. Chances are any elderly family member of yours isn't getting much loving lately, but that doesn't mean they are happy about it. Maybe all they need is a way to spice up there love life, and you could be there favorite relative for either a joke this great or giving them back there old flame.

Breast Suspenders. You can pick these up at any Spencers, basically they are plastic boobs that hold your real ones off the floor. They are hilarious and not overly offensive, as long as they are given by another over the hill woman that is.