10. Running on a Treadmill. Jogging in place cant be that dangerous right? Whoa… this thing goes pretty fast. I should slow this thing down a little so I don't *slips* OWW, it burns, it burns so bad!
9. Jumping on a Trampoline. Trampolines are fun right? So is being naked, but these two things go together like Peanut Butter and Motor oil. What could be the problem? Especially if there are some cute girls around to join in? Well, the simple answer is… there are some things that shouldn't be caught in those springs.
8. Paintball. Enough said.
7. Riding a bike. Moving metal, high speeds, rotating chain, and the chafing, ohhh the chafing. You can scratch riding a bike off your naked to do list, you wont miss a thing.
6. Resisting arrest. Cops do not want to touch a naked guy, commit any crime, when the cops show up they will have their tazer in hand. They want taze a running naked guy just as bad as the rest of us. The problem is that they are allowed to.
5. Go to a Sexaholics meeting. You might as well just poke an alligators tongue, or wear a meat necklace in a lions den.
4. Start a foundation for homeless cats. If you have had a cat you know how much they love things that hang and swing. Its almost as much as they love jumping out of hiding places and scratching the hell out of any exposed skin. Your in a world full of hurt if your a nudist cat lover.
3. Cook Bacon. Hot grease, fire, a really hot skillet, and lots of bare skin. That is possibly the worst combination I have ever heard of concerning food and nudity.
2. Work at a zoo. Like the cat shelter, but with bigger cats, and Monkeys… and bears. Realistically anyone stupid enough to do this wont need what is at risk anyway. Still you can see the risk involved when naked in a cage with a mountain lion. Even if the cat just “wants to play” have you seen the claws on those things?
1. Work in a factory. Moving automated machinery will not stop for private parts, so think twice before trying to clear that jam in station twelve naked. Also, conveyor belts, they are like treadmills, but faster.
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